|At the Lockheed-Martin plant . . .
||[Dec. 8th, 2015|02:10 am]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
. . . in Orlando, there was a patio outside of the cafeteria where you could go eat your lunch if the weather was nice. The lawn beyond the patio sloped off into a wooded area that turned out to be more of a swamp than anything else. It was pretty picturesque except for the signs warning you not to venture past a certain point on the lawn because of the danger of alligators. One sign in particular said something to the effect of, "Please Do Not Feed The Ducks As It May Result In Feeding The Ducks To The Alligators." We did not see it happen while we were there, but our host explained that, as lethargic as alligators may appear, if they're hungry, they can lunge out of the brush fast enough to surprise a duck and unceremoniously gobble it down in about two gulps. Guests and tourists who think it's just too charming that wild ducks will land on the lawn and eat the remnants of Wonder Bread and bologna sandwiches practically out of your hand, can be put off their feed for weeks after seeing an alligator actually eat one of the ducks---and realizing how close they were to the friggin' duck when it got lunched upon.
We wanted to chum for the ducks in hopes of seeing one get eaten, and we did see a couple of alligators lurking at the edge of the swamp, but our host got very annoyed when we tossed some French fries out on the lawn. It seems that chumming for ducks to lure alligators out of the swamp is considered a fairly serious safety infraction there, like failing to wear a hardhat or safety goggles or something.