|Before I Fall . . .
||[Mar. 5th, 2017|04:59 am]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
(ALERT --- SPOILAGE THROUGHOUT ! ! !)
. . . is basically a remake of Groundhog Day, done over as a teen angst morality play rather than a masterfully written and directed rom-com set in the Twilight Zone. In Before I Fall, the protagonist's last act is to sacrifice herself to save another befuddled teenager's life, Donnie-Darko-style. In fact, Before I Fall could be described as, "Groundhog Day meets Donnie Darko, but only turns out half as good as either one." It's not a bad movie, especially if you've never seen either of the other two movies, but if you have, it's been done before and it's been done better.
'Mater Meter: 68% Phrembahmeter: 67%
. . .
I also saw Pan's Labyrinth again today. I love Guillermo Del Torro's style and Ivana Baquero did a charming job as Ofelia, but I didn't remember it being quite so sad as it turns out to be. She, too, sacrifices herself in the end to save her baby half-brother. So that was a theme this weekend: young girls sacrifing their their lives to save others. Ick. They're lovely young women (both the actresses and the characters), but I want more for them. Still, Pan's Labyrinth is a not-to-be-missed masterpiece of what I call cinemacraft. Just a well made, impressive movie.
'Mater Meter: 95% Phrembahmeter: Yeah, definitely over 90%
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON ! ! ! This movie is entirely Spanish with English subtitles. If you don't read English particularly well, you may experience higher than usual levels of befuddlement.
. . .
Logan is OK for what it is, It's a fairly satisfying RESEFS (rock 'em sock 'em fer sher) comic book adventure movie, but the genre is getting a little thread bare. It's not worn to complete rags like the horror film genre, but it's definitely frayed at the edges. Last year's DeadPool was a hoot because it was fresh and didn't take itself seriously. I also enjoyed Suicide Squad more because it had Margot Robbie and Cara Delevinge in it than any other reason, but it, too, was over the top and beyond taking seriously. Logan is a masterfully made example of a fading (with me, anyway) genre.
'Mater Meter: 93% Phrembahmeter: 72% (I was waitin' for it to be over.)
. . .
Then there was this Polish musical about carnivorous mermaids called The Lure. Very entertaining with topless babes throughout. The mermaids were well-done special effects-wise and resembled eels more than traditional fishes, which was a different take on the subject than I'd ever seen. Two sister mermaids end up working as backup singers and stripping in an upscale night club. Hijinx, club acts, erotica and canibalism ensue, sprinkled throughout with musical production numbers. If you want to know the truth, it's a better musical than La La Land. I adore Emma Stone and I'm glad La La Land did as well as it did for her sake, but she can't sing or dance, not really, nor can Ryan What's-his-name. The unsung genre of Bizarre Polish Freaky Fantasy Cinema has them beat by a mile. Check it out.
'Mater Meter: 87% Phrembahmeter: 85% Easily.
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON ! ! ! This movie is entirely Polish with English subtitles. If you don't read English particularly well, you may experience higher than usual levels of befuddlement.