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Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)

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What's at the center of the Earth? [Nov. 13th, 2019|09:56 am]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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The most pressing question is whether the core is hard rubber or liquid. For a while when I was a kid, if you found a golf ball somewhere you could cut the hard plastic covering off of it and there would be almost infinite layers of rubber band material that would proceed to unwrap and unravel in fits and starts that would almost make it seem alive. After all of the rubberbandy stuff was gone, there would be an extremely hard rubber ball about 1/3 to 1/2 the size of the original golf ball. This inner "super ball" would bounce like nobody's business. You could throw it at the pavement and it would bounce dozens of feet in the air, invariably getting lost in the process. It was, however, a great way to spend a summer afternoon.

But before I completely grew out of my fascination with dissected golf balls, they started making them with a little bladder of liquid rubber goo in the middle instead of the hard rubber super ball. The liquid centers were like eighth inch-thick water balloons filled with salad oil. When thrown at the pavement they would do pretty much nothing, not even break open. So, if the earth's core is a hard rubber super ball, we can all be proud to live here. If it has a liquid center, I'm going to consider becoming a Flat Earther.
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GUYS ! [Oct. 25th, 2019|11:51 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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Waking up on the middle of the night to pee is NOT okay

WANNA BET?  It beats the hell outta wettin' the bed.
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I call dibbs on this fantastic idea: [Sep. 25th, 2019|12:00 am]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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A "Lawyer to the Rescue (or not)" TV show based structurally on "Better Call Saul" but really more like a mirror image of that show.  It would be called "Better Not Tell Rudy" and would star someone like John Lithgow as Rudy Giulianni, the president's personal lawyer.  When things start to go seriously south in the West Wing, the administration is desparate for someone who knows what to do and how to deal with the trail of collateraol damage the president leaves wherever he goes.  As they thumb desperately through their rolodexes looking for someone who can save their asses, somebody invariably says, "Better not tell Rudy," because they know from experience that if Rudy gets involved, forget handbaskets, the situatuation is going to hell in a rocketship.  The entertainment comes from the administration minions trying to fix whatever the president has screwed up while trying to keep the situation a secret from Rudy.

Talk to my agent about the rights.
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Impeachment fever is giving us the runs for our money! [Sep. 24th, 2019|07:16 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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Donald Trump may, in the immortal words of Rex Tillerson, be "a fucking moron," but he is SO much better at the game of schoolyard politics than we are.  If we "impeach" him, if the House sends actual Articles of Impeachment to the Senate, Mitch McConnell won't even look at them, much less allow them to be voted on.  "Impeachment" will fizzle right there.  Trump will consider himself once again victoriously exonerated and we Democrats will be left holding a sparkler that went out before we could light a fire with it.  The only way is to vote him out, to vote him out "bigly," to send him back where he came from: second rate network television.  For that we need an ELECTABLE candidate, people!
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Believe me . . . [Aug. 31st, 2019|11:40 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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. . . she is one amazingly talented Big Foot hunter.  People come to her from miles away to get their Big Feet hunted.
. . .

Special?  Are you kidding?  He's the top turd in the toilet and has been for years.
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How high is my fashion? [Aug. 31st, 2019|01:19 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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"Yimbo bam zumbo flum, sandus vom floobis shing, chickapung."

All of the religious leaders in the know are sayin' it, every Pope and Cardinal for miles in every direction!  Add it to your liturgy today!
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Canadian T-Shirt . . . [Jul. 25th, 2019|07:34 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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. . . as reported by "Last Podcast On the Left:"

GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE

(MOSTLY IT'S THE BULLETS)

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Choose to Lose in 2020! [Jul. 22nd, 2019|01:49 am]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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CHOOSE TO LOOSE!
in
2020

About 70% of Americans are happy with the health insurance that they have.  Promise to take it away from them!

Almost no one has any idea what the "Green New Deal" even is.
Make it a major platform plank and hawk it endlessly!


Approximately 0.06% of the population identify as transgender.
Promise to restructure society to favor them exclusively!


Legislate the mandatory use of preferred personal pronouns with heavy fines and/or jail time for failure to comply.

Shovel Political Correctness down the throats of white middle America!  It worked so well last time!


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A lot of it has to do with my mortality . . . [Jul. 21st, 2019|12:48 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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Immortals collect great piles of mental baggage that they just know they're going to need or need to refer to some day.  I know that when I'm gone, which at this point will be sooner rather than later, all of my baggage will go poof and be no more.  If you know that and believe it, there's very little point in accumulating most of it.  You can just let it fall by the wayside or be washed overboard right now.
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Same sex marriage? [Jul. 7th, 2019|10:03 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
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I think marriage in general should be outlawed---but decriminalized.
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