March 14th, 2005


On the verge. I'm sorry, which verge? THE verge, you idiot!

There are people at work who anthropomorphize silicon. They say things like, "Well we don't want to do that because then the processor would have to PULL all of this data in and BUFFER all of this data then SEARCH through all of this data just to find the events that changed a few parameters then CALCULATE the magnitude of all of the changes then THROW away all of the rest of it." Each verb is accompanied by exaggerated hand gestures accentuating the excruciating difficulty of each task. And the word "all" is emphasized and stretched to indicate just how tired the poor processor is going to be after "a-a-a-a-a-l-l-l-l-l-l-l" of this work it's going to be required to do.

I make myself unpopular by saying things like, "Its called parsing data. That's what computers are for. They don't mind, honest. They're good at it." And, "If that processor can't handle it, use a bigger one or faster one or two of them." The actual underlying concern, of course, is how much work this is going to be for the poor developer to develop all of these algorithms and debug all of this code. Hey, that's what developers are for. They're (supposed to be) good at it. If that developer can't handle it, get a better one. I don't say that, of course. I wouldn't be a team player if I said that.

I just get so tired of lazy programmers saving themselves a day's work by creating weeks of work and inconvenience for others somewhere down the line. Oops, I think I've fallen in this rant-hole before.

. . .

See, not only does this journal actually document the trials and tribulations of my so-called life, its fluctuating volume provides an inverse analog of the day-to-day complexity of said life. The alien archaeologists of the year 6969 will be able to graph the size and number of entries against time and see just how little there was going on during any given week, giving them further insight into the lives and customs of these ancient people, and probably coming to the conclusion: "What the hell were they bitching about all the time?"

Just so they don't get the wrong idea: There is deep, deep religious significance to all of this angst. Did you hear that? Really DEEP religious significance. Trust me. What else could it be?

Enough, already!

Well, precisely because I had the audacity to chronicle the coming of spring yesterday (or whenever that was), I had to brush three inches of snow off Clunk the Wonder Truck when I left work tonight. It's still snowing and it's colder than shit which means it's going to be a sleigh ride to work tomorrow. I really need to go in early or go in late. The people around here cannot deal with snow and many just steer their car into the nearest solid object to get it over with and end the suspense.

. . .

Mostly nothing happened at work today. Manager Man came by and was super polite, probably suspecting that if he put two words in the wrong order I'd throw down my badge and walk.

So we have only a small glimpse of the "plan". They hired a lady "engineer" a while back who promptly cried FEMLA! and went to a two day work week because her husband suddenly got a job. They are bringing her on full time in April to take on part of T's stuff. This will probably piss her off and make her quit, because the whole deal was that she didn't want the kid in child care five days a week when her husband went back to work. We'll see. Another young "engineer" will take over another piece of it, which only leaves a couple more projects uncovered. Funny how it takes at least three, maybe four, "engineers" to pick up the slack left by this evil doer that they couldn't abide, isn't it? This wreaks havoc with the budgets, too, because "engineers" are generally paid pretty much the same as engineers and now you have four spigots open on the ol' budget barrel and it's draining at an alarming rate. Happily, not my problem.

They have no appreciation for people who can take on the work of half a dozen "engineers" and get it done because most of our "managers" don't really know what we do. Not really. Management to them is spouting slogans and avoiding litigation. They gave us new notepads this year with our top five goals printed on the top. "Focus on the customer" is fourth on the list, believe it or not. I wouldn't let the customer actually see any of these notepads if I were them.

Where do they think the money comes from?