|Every once in a while . . .
||[Apr. 16th, 2016|11:29 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
. . . you get the proverbial icepick in the eye from what passes for Reality around here. I had a revelation many years back inspired by St. Pauli Girl beer. I needed a name for a line of one-off prototype guitars that would be a little south of "boutique level" desirability. I liked the odd St. Paulie girl premise and the logo with what looked like an Elizabethan bar wench or milk maid or something: a youngish girl in a puffy sleeved blouse and lace-up bodice with blond pigtails. And apparently I wasn't the only one; to this day you can buy a St. Pauli Girl costume from more than one place on the interwebs, including Amazon.com. The current St. Pauli Girl logo leaves something to be desired, namely the pigtails. Today she has long flowing windblown blond hair. Modern, but they traded essential old-world charm for sex appeal. Boo. Hiss. Get your sex appeal somewhere else and leave the iconic innocence of our St. Pauli Girl alone.
Anyway, having fallen under the spell of the original pigtailed St. Pauli Girl, the words that appeared on the ramen-noodle-juice-spattered screen of my second sight were "Old Baloney Girl." I've always detested writing "bologna" when what you mean is "baloney," so I don't. Many years later, I found that BuildASign.com will make you printed stick-ons of any description for absurdly reasonable prices (don't tell them that). So, among other distractions (like Jeb Bush 2016 bumper stickers featuring his campaign slogan, "Please Clap"), I designed up a transparent decal-like Olde Baloney Girl logo stick-on. Because they were intentionally small enough to apply to the limited open space on a guitar headstock, twenty of them cost eight dollars or something (see what I mean by reasonable?). So, that was cool. I even stuck one on an after-market guitar neck I had lying around. So I looked upon my Olde Baloney Girl stick-on decals and saw that they were good.
And good they were until I ran across an Urban Dictionary entry the other day that defines "bologna girl" as a girl kept in a closet and used only for sexual escapades and fed "bologna" under the closet door for sustenance (because it fits). Well, that was not why I called my sub-boutique line of mutant guitars "Olde Baloney Girl." I can't tell you why I named it that ('cause I don't know), but I can guarantee that it had nothing to do with feeding a sex slave "bologna" under the closet door because I had never even heard of that till two days ago, much less ever had one of my own.