|The very latest in modern teledildonics.
||[Jul. 3rd, 2016|01:56 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)
showed up in the "Comments" section of a podcast site that I follow. It has nothing to do with the usual content or format of the site and I kinda wondered why anyone would put it there. When I went back half an hour later to see if I had seen what I thought I had seen, a moderator had removed it.
It fascinates me because I rail about the "Internet of Things," IoT, a lot. The IoT is where everything is plugged into everything else over the Internet so that you can turn your refrigerator on and off from your iPad on the tarmac at Shanghai International Airport. My first question: Why would I want to? My next question: If I can, can anyone? Can Julian Assange hack my toaster from an undisclosed secure location in Portugal? Can he set my bagels on fire on purpose just out of spite? My ninth or tenth question: Why would anyone but me want to set my bagels on fire? The whole thing sounds to me like technology run completely amok.
That may be, but many---like, hundreds of---companies are rushing headlong to get their IoT "solutions" to market ahead of everyone else. I get the techno-rags (industry magazines) daily; they're doing it---right now. We're going to have the "Internet of Things" whether we want it or not. No one will ask you---a vote will not be taken. So, I have been wary of the damned IoT for several years now.
But, alas, even I was unprepared for Internet-ready remote control butt plugs that could conceivably be controlled from the ISS. To be just totally frank with you, I wasn't ready for butt plugs---period. If you think about it, though, the possibilities might just be irresistible:
Back in the old days, a guy might "pin" his girl by giving her a pin to wear on her sweater or dress that marked her as "taken." Or she might wear his class ring on a chain around her neck or maybe wear his letter jacket. Nowadays a couple might make a preliminary trial commitment to each other by syncing their butt plugs via the Internet or cell phone network. As per the video, they might play "their song" simultaneously on both of their butt plugs. The romantic possibilities are unimaginable and unlimited.
- Think of the havoc the NSA could wreak at the Kremlin if they could hack into Vladimir Putin's butt plug.
- Think what a boon such a device might be to an organization such as the Trump campaign if they could install one in their candidate, set it to STUN and then monitor his utterances from the floor of the hall or just off camera on a Sunday morning news show. They could perhaps do some real-time preemptive damage control by using the device like a dog trainer might use a shock collar while it remained complete hidden from the casual observer.
- It might even be used for clandestine communication, the recipient receiving Morse coded messages over the Internet. It might require Jason-Bourne-like dedication to train oneself to perform in such a manner, but hey, anything for God and country, right?