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Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)

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Collide . . . [Feb. 28th, 2017|11:00 pm]
Phrembah (a potato-like mystery)

. . . is one of those movies that make no sense to me.  They had two great actors, two other entirely serviceable actors, some really great stunt people, world-class special effects folks, impressive cinematography, but then cut it all together into a pretty poor movie.  How does that happen?  Why do they let it out the door like that?  In my uneducated opinion, a different editor with a little help from a good screen writer could have cut what they had into a pretty decent mob-boss thriller.

'Mater Meter:  22%      Phrebahmeter: 33% because some people did some good work, just nobody pulled it all together.

. . .

Get Out is another impuzzlement.  When I saw it, the Tomato Meter was pegged out at 100%.  It's slipped since to 99%.  That puts it in the company of Citizen Kane and Casablanca.  'Fraid not.  I have this horrible tendency to get lured into seeing horror flicks based on rave reviews.  What still has not sunk in is that I simply don't like horror flicks, no matter how good they are (except, of course, for Cabin In the Woods, the horror flick that should have ended all horror flicks).  I don't have the attention span for them.  I like movies that move, stories that fly by almost too fast to keep up with.  Horror flicks must build suspense, and to build suspense you must drag through scene after scene to lull the audience into a stupor before the unnerving BANG!!! just as the rotting corpse of the girl who went missing in Scene 1 falls out of the false ceiling.  As I have said too many times a'ready, it's a tired genre.  Get Out is another example of good movie, bad genre.  The story is somewhat original, the cinemacraft (if that's a thing) is very good.  It's just somebody else's good time---not mine.

'Mater Meter:  99%      Phrebahmeter: 77% because the filmmakers and actors did a good job, but the genre died on the table forty years ago.  Jesus should have been a horror flick script.  He would have come back hundreds of times by now.

. . .

The Cure for Wellness is better than they say.  It didn't need to be any two and half hours long, but it wasn't bad as such things go.  I like Dane DeHaan and Mia Goth just 'cause, and the other players were also very good.  The story is original-ish and the cinemacraft is good.  An accomplished editor could have saved audiences forty minutes and added ten or more meter percentage points.

'Mater Meter:  40%      Phrebahmeter: 68% I think we were watching the Director's Cut.  A trimmed down "Audience's Cut" could get them 79% - 80% on the old Phrembahmeter.