"Then one blustery Sunday they had what they called a Stake Conference, a bigger than usual meeting of people from several churches in the area. One of the elders gave a speech about how tithing was 'partnering with God.' If you take on God as your partner, you can't help but succeed. When he uttered those words, 'partnering with God,' my dad laughed out loud. Reportedly, it wasn't a chuckle, either. It was more like a guffaw. My mom wasn't there. It was a 'men folk only' meeting and she was off with the women folk tending the kids and getting the church supper ready. The news traveled like wildfire through the congregation though, and when my mom heard, she was mortally embarrassed. My dad swore for years after that it was completely involuntary, it burst out of it's owm accord. He said that what flashed through his mind was, 'That feed that went bad when the barn flooded last spring, the fencing we lost to that ice storm two years ago, is God, as my partner, going to go halvsies with me on that?' When that thought crossed his mind, the belly laugh just happened.
"He only went to church for other people's stuff after that, baptisms and such. He never functioned as an elder in the church again. Around our house after that it was 'religion optional.' And because I was such a late baby and my siblings were going off to college as I was starting school, I was allowed the run of the place as long as I didn't get hurt or hurt anybody or destroy anything. I sang at my friends' church and went to some special services, but it wasn't my church, it was theirs. I just went to hang out with them. I didn't believe anything."